My Hero, Barney!

Words of Wisdom - always good advice!



[shouting to several prisoners]
Barney Fife: Now here at the Rock we have two rules. Memorize them until you can say them in your sleep. Rule number one: obey all rules. Rule number two: no writing on the walls.



Barney Fife: The last big buy was my mom's and dad's anniversary present. Andy Taylor: What'd ya get 'em? Barney Fife: A septic tank. Andy Taylor: For their anniversary? Barney Fife: They're awful hard to buy for. Besides, it was something they could use. They were really thrilled. It had two tons of concrete in it. All steel reinforced. Andy Taylor: You're a fine son, Barn. Barney Fife: I try.



Barney Fife: Well, today's eight-year-olds are tomorrow's teenagers. I say this calls for action and now. Nip it in the bud. First sign of youngsters going wrong, you've got to nip it in the bud. Andy Taylor: I'm going to have a talk with them. What else do you want me to do? Barney Fife: Well, don't just mollycoddle them. Andy Taylor: I won't. Barney Fife: Nip it. You go read any book you ant on the subject of child discipline and you'll find every one of them is in favor of bud-nipping.



Andy Taylor: What are you doing? Barney Fife: Gun-drawing practice, ten minutes every day. If I ever have to use this baby, I want to teach it to come to papa in a hurry.
Barney Fife: Well, I guess to sum it up, you could say, there's three reasons why there's so little crime in Mayberry. There's Andy, and there's me, and [patting gun] Barney Fife: baby makes three.



[Andy has told Rafe Hollister to try out for the musical] Barney Fife: I'm surprised at you, Andy. They want people who have had musical training. Why, suppose they ask Rafe to do something he don't know? Rafe, if they asked you to sing a cappella, could you do it? Rafe Hollister: No. Andy Taylor: Hey, Barn, what if they was to ask you if you could sing a cappella, what would *you* do? Barney Fife: Why, I'd do it! [snapping fingers in rhythm] Barney Fife: "A cappella, a cappella"... Well, I don't remember all the words.



Barney Fife: [while relaxing on the front porch after Sunday dinner] You know what I think I'm gonna' do? Andy Taylor: What? Barney Fife: I'm gonna' go home, have me a little nap, and then go over to Thelma Lou's and watch a little TV. Andy Taylor: Mmm-hmm. Barney Fife: Yeah, I believe that's what I'll do. Go home... have a nap... and then over to Thelma Lou's for TV. Andy Taylor: Mmm. Barney Fife: Yep, that's the plan. Home... little nap... then... Malcolm Tucker: [interrupting] For the love of Mike *do* it! [shouts] Malcolm Tucker: Do it! Just *do* it! Go take a nap, go to Thelma Lou's for TV, just *do it*!


What a great actor!