The Application Process

The complete, official, unabridged, application process:

1. Initial screening, conducted without applicant’s knowledge or consent.
2. 40 days and 40 nights of prayer.
3. Vote taken, unanimous vote required, for application process to continue. If unanimous vote not received, process begins over with Step #1.
4. Individual interviews conducted without applicant’s knowledge or consent.
5. Sub-committees rally supporting their candidates.
6. Vote taken, unanimous vote required, for application process to continue. If unanimous vote not received, process begins over with Step #1.
7. Informal gathering with applicants. Habits observed. Brisket evaluated.
8. Applicant’s references checked.
9. Official invitation presented. If invitation declined, property in Montana purchased by committee.
10. Applicant’s self-examination period.
11. Applicant’s acceptance of invitation presented in writing.
12. Scriptural objections period.
13. Vote taken, unanimous vote required, for application process to continue. If unanimous vote not received, plans for house in Montana finalized.
14. Ordination